My youngest daughter asked me to go to a yoga class with her. She did not want to go alone, so I’m on board. I am at a point that I am willing to try almost anything once. I must say that I really enjoyed the class. It was very relaxing and calm. The yoga instructor said that you have to breathe through the discomfort of the stretch. That got me to thinking. It seems my twenties and thirties were spent fighting the stretch, rather than breathing through it. I was constantly fighting the changes and trying to control what was happening. I was afraid if I didn’t have a tight reign on my life, it would crash and burn. I wasn’t allowing myself to stretch and grow.
I spent much of that time worried about the wrong things. This I think, is the beauty of your 40’s. Your perspective changes. I am finding that I want to stretch my understanding of the world and myself. I no longer worry about if someone stops by and the house is messy or there is dog hair everywhere. Not that I enjoy that happening, but it used to really put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. I would obsess about the fact that people would think that I wasn’t a good housekeeper. Judging me! Does the dog hair still bother me, of course it does. Every dark shirt or pair of pants I own looks like its made of fur. But now, I just kinda think whatever. If that is how people are going to judge me then that is on them, not me. I am finally willing to breathe through the discomfort.
When I think back to all the time I wasted making myself crazy trying to please other people, to live up to their standard, it makes me cringe. Pointless waste of energy really. The people in my life who have seen me making myself crazy for others, are definitely noticing the changes in me. I am learning to breathe through the things that used to really get me worked up. I have finally realized the ones who love me, honestly do not care if I wear a hair shirt or pants. And really, does anyone really care if their house is spotless? Did it matter when my kids were little and crawling around on the floor? Yes. If my kids start picking stuff up off the floor at this age and putting it in their mouths that is on them, not me.
So, I think I will continue to go to yoga. It is really centering. I am learning new things about myself and the world from the experience. And now I will always remember to breathe through the discomfort.