What?!

I am learning a whole new world.  Two years ago I was still running from event to event for my two kids.  That comprised my entire social life and filled my time.  Now both children are graduated and starting their adult lives.  The youngest still lives at home but is seriously looking for a way out.  The oldest moved out over a year ago.  She wasn’t a huge fan of rules.  At least my rules anyway.  Good for her, she is making it, working full time and now realizing it really wasn’t that bad not paying your own bills.

I know that now that I am over 40, I am realizing some really scary things.  For example, when I was a young kid,  adults knew everything.  Or so I thought.  It is bizarre now, thinking about how much I relied on the adults in my life to have the answers. So many things make sense now.  As a child you could ask for explanations from your parents or other adults in your life and their answers were gospel.  Even if those explanations seemed off, even from a kids perspective.  Now I get why I didn’t quite believe some of the things that the adults in my world said.  Now I know the secret.  They didn’t know the answers and now I don’t know either.

I am just starting to figure this adult thing out.  The reality of what to do with my time and energy is really quite overwhelming.  I, of course, have the things that I have to do; cleaning, pay bills, run errands, etc., but to figure out what I want to do?  That is a real stumper!  For the first time in 28 years, I no longer smoke, I am eating healthy and working out.  It is a whole new world for me.  So far it has been fun.  Not all easy, but I am loving the results of being a healthier person.  For me, I am loving being this age.  I think I finally have enough experience to realize that you really can make life what you want.